This comes as a reflection of my past year of experiences, culminating into one facebook comment…..
“I think the recent influx of “accountability culture” especially when it comes to rapists and physical abusers, has simply become a way to prioritize the abuser, our own selfish need to think everyone we associate with is good and by proxy ourselves. Thus still reinforcing misogyny and rape culture, but painting it with pastel colors”
I meant what I said too. I think and have witnessed, that accountability does not actually lead to anything, someone apologizes in public, is briefly embarrassed and then gets to carry on with their lives. Often times just to repeat offenses. They are rarely obligated to leave the scene, never have to negotiate terms with their victims, and basically get to feel “healed.”
As someone who is a survivor of various abuses one of which is rape, I know that this falsified sense of forgiveness is of no comfort. Those of us in the DIY scene who have survived being sexually assaulted never ever feel safe again in spaces where rapists are forgiven and thus prioritized.
Now, I strongly believe in transformative justice over the prison, however we need to prioritize the needs of those who, having already fled to the DIY scene are again pushed into the margins and left unsafe. So if a rapist apologizes good, but don’t be so happy to self soothe yourself and allow them right back into home and hearth until you have addressed the needs of the survivor. The whole truth is, sometimes people we like are rapists, and sometimes people we don’t like are raped. And it is still never the survivors fault. Creating a magically loop-hole so that your problematic friends can escape the consequences of their actions isn’t “alternative,” “transformative,” or “punk”. It’s bullshit.